Where shall I begin on this piece of God's creation? We shall not refer to her as a human nor an alien, but a masterpiece. This work of art is so very unfamiliar yet familiar in the sense of a canvas painted by Picasso. From far away it looks constructive and well thought out, but when you step up close and examine it's a mess. Not negative, a mess meaning here and there...like what the hell, you don't know what to expect. Like BLAM! WHOOSH! You can't throw this thang in the bag, sorry Fabolous.
There is only one thing that keeps me from breaking her in half, the fact that I couldn't be sane and have two of her around. With that being said, I can not deny how much I love her and how much she means to me. This is the Peanut Butter to my Jelly, the Batman to my Robin, the BB gun to my holster, the Patrick to my SpongeBob and the flush to my toilet. Better yet, the crunch to my Dorito. Like Lucy must do to Ricky Ricardo, let me 'splain...
Her breath is like cinnamon which can counter act with fatigue and boredom. "This can interfere with concentration, but keeping the mind stimulated can increase productivity and focus." For a boost during the day all you need is some KT. The conversations between us sometimes must be decoded by the Pirates Dictionary. Words and thoughts that we share, only her and I can understand which is the basis upon this long lasting friendship. Why when she speaks it makes you speechless. That's because she speaks the truth. If you walked out the door with a donkey mask on looking like an ass, no pun intended, she would make you feel like a million dollar bill. No lie, been there and sat on the sidewalk for 2 hours with a roadie in my sippy cup. (Ok, pretend I wasn't sloshed, I would have still taken her word that I looked FAB.) Let me add, she made a marvelous pig.
Lets put her as a play piece to board game...for example, a game of Monopoly is super boring beside the fact that you can play and buy whatever you want and hold the banker up at gunpoint and not go to jail. Like our moments painting the town red. We have so much fun together we don't realize the people around us are exhausted of our free entertainment, dancing our mexicano dances street-side and having our pinata Billy the Bad ass Bull as our DD. After all, no town can handle the both of us together, that is why the Mayor and all other political affiliates choose us to reside 30 miles outside of each other. It is until we give each other the look of, "I've had enough(of these fools not having as much fun as we are)" when we realize we have out done our welcome to the whole city. They say "Choosy Mom's choose JIF." Well Mom's around here choose Pimpin' and Weezy brand. Chunky and all natural with no honey added.
When it comes to candy, I'd say this creation can be compared to Sour Patch Kids. Yes, they are her best comparison candy wise. Sour on the outside and if you can stand it before you spit it out, you got the sweetness. LOL, then again what smart girl lets her true colors (or flavors) be shown right up front? Every new kid has another sour to go thru before you can have the sugar again! Mama didn't raise no fool! Trust. Somewhat like a Now-n-Later, although if you want her now you can't have her later. KT will hand out that pink slip.
How about the weather? Is that thunder? is that rain? No way...it's a damn rainbow! An abundance of pure colorfulness that will brighten up anyones day. There is not one negative ounce of hatered in this masterpieces body. To end this blog or short story on my best friend, that is what attracts everyone to her. It's a shame she has to shake sticks at humans to get them off of her, but you must go thru the application and background check to be apart of her life. Rain is always a necessity to bring new blooming flowers or fresh meat around, but this chick has an extensive collection of rainboots and loves to dance. Like Beyonce, with the booty, she was created for a special purpose...to be and prove that there are real and true friends out there.
My Pimpin' is my heart and she is the best support bra a girl could ask for. Here is to you Katie "Pimpin' is Easy" Lunden, you my ride or die chick and if it weren't for you I don't know how I would make it to the bottom of my bottomless glass! You moving here or am I going to have Mommy sand up some adult bunkbeds to be transfered to Greenville?