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Monday, November 30, 2009

Things Are Not Always What They Seem

....Even when you ask. This Thanksgiving was wonderful! We laughed, we cried and we laughed so much it made us all cry! Since Oprah is going to no longer be apart of day-time television, Dakota and I are going to pitch our new reality show called "Do it like the Dawson's." I really think it will be a winner...

So, besides the tears and backaches from laughing...there were pranks and all at my cost. Mommy got some cheese pick things for her birthday (the steaks you stick in the blocks of cheese to differentiate what "flavor" each is). Well, notice the picture above. Does that one triangle shape say cheddar or do am I totally spaced out? I even ASKED my Mother and she said in fact it WAS cheddar. Needless to say I'm a cheese freak especially when it comes to CHEDDAR. Everyone is sitting around the table discussing random thoughts as we are all picking leftovers off each others plates. There were chunks of cheese, but no crackers on my plate and I was too stuffed to even try and consume that yummy cheddar cheese since I already ate half the block anyway. Nana proceeds to ask if the PARMESAN cheese was any good...PARMESAN CHEESE???? PARMESAN CHEESE?! DO WHAT? Yeah, I ate Parmesan cheese, a whole block of it thinking it was cheddar...I look over at Mommy with this eat shit and die look and ask why she lied to me. She replied, "I didn't have a pick that said Parmesan." On the other hand, I ASKED her to reassure myself since the texture was different and she lied to me!!! UGH!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Holler @ Chalie Boy

These new lyricists amaze me with their choice in music videos and not to mention what they actually spit to the beats they produce..but this song right cher makes me wanna get up and dance!

Dreamer Disease

"Dream is a semi-conscious state where we have absolutely no control over our thoughts and expressions (unless we master lucid dreaming). Did you know that most of us spend six years or more of our lifetime dreaming? Research proves that all of us dream at least twice or more in our sleep though we may not remember when we get up. In 5 minutes of waking, half of our dream is forgotten and within 10 minutes, almost all dreams are forgotten. People who are blind from birth too dream. It is just that the dreams of these individuals are formed by other sense such as the touch, smell, sound and taste. During roman era some dreams were even discussed and interpreted in the senate as the dream was considered to be a God sent message for the mankind. Lucid dreams are considered those dreams where person can take full or partial control of their dreams. Most important fact in order to be aware that we are dreaming is practice. Writing down and keeping track of your dreams is very important. Second thing is noticing signs or triggers that can help us stay aware that we are in dreaming state. Once we start dreaming lucidly we could control the imaginary experiences in the dream environment. This is extremely important for people that have nightmares. Interesting facts is that our body is paralyzed during our sleep probably to prevent the body from acting out dreams." (

Saturday, November 7, 2009

KatieLand ..stay tuned for a remix...

Where shall I begin on this piece of God's creation? We shall not refer to her as a human nor an alien, but a masterpiece. This work of art is so very unfamiliar yet familiar in the sense of a canvas painted by Picasso. From far away it looks constructive and well thought out, but when you step up close and examine it's a mess. Not negative, a mess meaning here and what the hell, you don't know what to expect. Like BLAM! WHOOSH! You can't throw this thang in the bag, sorry Fabolous.

There is only one thing that keeps me from breaking her in half, the fact that I couldn't be sane and have two of her around. With that being said, I can not deny how much I love her and how much she means to me. This is the Peanut Butter to my Jelly, the Batman to my Robin, the BB gun to my holster, the Patrick to my SpongeBob and the flush to my toilet. Better yet, the crunch to my Dorito. Like Lucy must do to Ricky Ricardo, let me 'splain...

Her breath is like cinnamon which can counter act with fatigue and boredom. "This can interfere with concentration, but keeping the mind stimulated can increase productivity and focus." For a boost during the day all you need is some KT. The conversations between us sometimes must be decoded by the Pirates Dictionary. Words and thoughts that we share, only her and I can understand which is the basis upon this long lasting friendship. Why when she speaks it makes you speechless. That's because she speaks the truth. If you walked out the door with a donkey mask on looking like an ass, no pun intended, she would make you feel like a million dollar bill. No lie, been there and sat on the sidewalk for 2 hours with a roadie in my sippy cup. (Ok, pretend I wasn't sloshed, I would have still taken her word that I looked FAB.) Let me add, she made a marvelous pig.

Lets put her as a play piece to board game...for example, a game of Monopoly is super boring beside the fact that you can play and buy whatever you want and hold the banker up at gunpoint and not go to jail. Like our moments painting the town red. We have so much fun together we don't realize the people around us are exhausted of our free entertainment, dancing our mexicano dances street-side and having our pinata Billy the Bad ass Bull as our DD. After all, no town can handle the both of us together, that is why the Mayor and all other political affiliates choose us to reside 30 miles outside of each other. It is until we give each other the look of, "I've had enough(of these fools not having as much fun as we are)" when we realize we have out done our welcome to the whole city. They say "Choosy Mom's choose JIF." Well Mom's around here choose Pimpin' and Weezy brand. Chunky and all natural with no honey added.

When it comes to candy, I'd say this creation can be compared to Sour Patch Kids. Yes, they are her best comparison candy wise. Sour on the outside and if you can stand it before you spit it out, you got the sweetness. LOL, then again what smart girl lets her true colors (or flavors) be shown right up front? Every new kid has another sour to go thru before you can have the sugar again! Mama didn't raise no fool! Trust. Somewhat like a Now-n-Later, although if you want her now you can't have her later. KT will hand out that pink slip.

How about the weather? Is that thunder? is that rain? No's a damn rainbow! An abundance of pure colorfulness that will brighten up anyones day. There is not one negative ounce of hatered in this masterpieces body. To end this blog or short story on my best friend, that is what attracts everyone to her. It's a shame she has to shake sticks at humans to get them off of her, but you must go thru the application and background check to be apart of her life. Rain is always a necessity to bring new blooming flowers or fresh meat around, but this chick has an extensive collection of rainboots and loves to dance. Like Beyonce, with the booty, she was created for a special be and prove that there are real and true friends out there.

My Pimpin' is my heart and she is the best support bra a girl could ask for. Here is to you Katie "Pimpin' is Easy" Lunden, you my ride or die chick and if it weren't for you I don't know how I would make it to the bottom of my bottomless glass! You moving here or am I going to have Mommy sand up some adult bunkbeds to be transfered to Greenville?

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Resolution? Contribution?

Don't you think that contributions make resolutions? I guess coming up with what you want resolved before you ask or make contributions is key...then again that's thinking inside the box while everyone else is thinking outside the box.
This particular blog won't get very far in my thought process since this mind of mine has clocked out for the evening. Well, at least clocked out on having any kind of "serious, prove Jessica's point thought process."
Let's just start with a telephono convo that just ended between my ex-roomie, aka handsome thang, best friend and the most important title he has, Daddy. Someone, asshole neighbors as I have been refering to them as, set up a TRAP with bones and meat to catch my furry children only to call the animal pound to pick them up. WTH? Not to get to deep, but isn't that wrong? I'm crying, Daddy is mad and my poor baby Stella stayed in doggie jail for 2 nights until we found out where she was. Trapping is like stalking, its a crime.

Sunday, November 1, 2009


Sunday night on the couch watching Sex and the City is what it's all about. First thing s first, why must I always try to fight sleep? Is it because I'm scared to miss something or the fact that I hate the thought of doing absolutely nothing? That right there is going to be a whole other blog entry. So, back to my HBO evening...this episode is talking about, well what every Sex and the City is How is it so easy for some to just meet and if not that second, but within days start mattress dancing? Not to mention the fact that this scenario may happen over and over with different dancers. Trust that I'm not judging on how many or how often someones monkey meets another banana. Whatever
floats your boat, this is your life and a free country. Do what pleases you. These ladies and their "tv" lives are quite intriguing. From being social to living in the city that never sleeps to being strong and independent women with the best of friends always for one another thru ups and downs. Are they going to have auditions for a 5th sista?